Wednesday, December 4, 2019

How to keep pushing the envelop

Its very easy to be default.
Its very easy to be scared of uncomfortable situations.
Its very difficult to take action.
Its very difficult to think about what action to take if you decide to do so.

Let me explain.
Almost all people have a default reaction to certain category of situation or action. When you are put in a situation, you realize that and start acting on it in a certain way. If you are not prepared to handle such a situation or you have never thought of such situations, and you are not a super person who can think very fast and analyze all the outcomes or can process and easily handle any situation with ease, you handle it in the way which you think is the most easiest way out of the situations, without causing much stress to you and without making any more conflict then it already made in your mind.
This behavior is called default behavior.
Its very common.
Most people handle it this way.
What they don't realize is that, in trying to find the easy way out, they choose the path of long term harm.

Yes, being default helps you handle the situation in a mediocre way and you get out without thinking too much about the situation, and taking much damage to your self esteem. What also happens sub-consciously in your brain is the following things.

  • You take a mental note to avoid situations like this in the first place
  • You decide not to go to the gatherings where you might have to talk to difficult/unknown/new people or some big-shot people or some people you may have some/any difficulty connecting with
  • You think of easy ways to handle the situations and feel comfortable
These default behavior makes you just comfortable enough, so as to avoid any desire in you to be better than what you are. You will never brain storm how to better handle the situations and try to make a major impact in those kind of situations. And yes you can convert those uncomfortable situations into an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to meet new people, opportunity to get introduced, opportunity to impress and leave your impact on people, opportunity to communicate to a mass rather than a being in a boring and uncomfortable situation. And if you notice around you, there is always somebody who is doing this. Every situation which is a default situation for you, is an opportunity situations for some people. People can start saying Hi and then start sharing a story of them in the morning or how the lady in the Starbucks' was pronouncing her name or how the people in the road were driving, anything. If you have the ability to notice what is going in your life or in the world in general, and can narrate it in an interesting way, the world is your stage. Every situation is an opportunity. If you don't have that skill, develop it. Start noticing the way people pronounce your name, or start remembering the way you guys used to have fun in colleges, how you used to bunk colleges, and that situation when you got in trouble, start noticing what is happening in the lives of people around you, start connecting the events that are happening to them to the events you know about , either about you or someone you know, start noticing the jokes people tell, and don't be afraid to share another one that is related to the first one, start noticing some difference in the way people look because of a new haircut - or a new necklace they are wearing, don't hesitate to throw some funny sarcasm if you find a relevant one to somebody's action or behavior. That's how you can take any situations to a ride and take advantage from it, that's how you grow and be the master of the situations.

And at the end, always plan what you are going to say when you meet someone new in a meeting, plan what to say when someone says "have a good one", or even "good morning", At least make a list of few simple situations that can happen in a daily basis and plan your answers, and say it out loud without any hesitation. Say something more than you are comfortable saying. And if they don't like it, be ready to say sorry it blurted it out, or I don't mean it. But don't be afraid to keep pushing the envelop all the time. That's the only way you are going to be comfortable with the world you live in.

Just a thought!!

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